geez i cant believe i thought it was actually over. duh do you forget who you're dealing with?? THis is RJ and JENN. appearently they are IN love and i was just a side fuck you know? but silly me i took that anyways. why do i get the feeling im being used. actually i pretty much know that i am being used. WHY ARE U DOING THIS TO ME?

so ok the last what week or two. I thought things were fine and dandy right, trying to get back on track and what not. then i find hes still calling her. okay okay so thats not as bad. but i just got like a gut feeling. whatevs but then as of late. he doesnt tell me he loves me anymore but i dont force that because i "know" that he does and i dont want to question. but then he blogs, and what now you ask? he talks about his trip home, where his HIghs were the highest he could ever be. which means probably all the times he was with her, and the really low lows that made him feel "icky" yeah whats that suppose to mean?? that im just some dirty pile of shit? probably huh? so he probably just loves me, but is still IN LOVE with her. so will this be the last straw for me? probably not. but FUCK there are going to be some major tears shed cause im a STUPID FUCK!